The shift is so subtle. Usually, we aren’t even aware of the fact that we have moved into a new arena, a new atmosphere.
The change is silent like the dawn. Except instead of beautiful dawning color being created, it drains away leaving a sepia filtered life absent of vibrance, void of hope. Often loss or tragedy breaks through the filter. Suddenly, we become aware of the fact that our thoughts, our lives, and our actions no longer reflect the beauty and gentleness of the love of our Lord. We are startled that it has waned. It has silently slipped away, moved back in our minds.
The presence of God and His holy love no longer occupies the forefront of our thoughts.
Life seeps in. We move on to other things in life, other responsibilities of our day, other demands that gobble up our time. We have so many things to plan and discuss and do.
Staying close to God is easy when the inside of the church is our only distraction. Because at church, we have the gentle reminders, the visual icons, the fragrances, the quiet atmosphere of being in a holy place. Sometimes I feel like I’m being held in giant, soft, strong holy arms – like an invisible hug – and it moves with me even as I walk and talk and breathe. It’s so comforting.
But life seeps in a little further.
The sweet love song melody that was whispering through my mind is replaced with sour-toned clanging bells and like a crossguard gate at the train tracks, my path is interrupted.
“Don’t let it go!”, I think to myself. Hang on to the sweet fullness of rich sound, the perfect harmony. Yet, the clanging persists. A crashing tone screeches and dominates the air. Harsh noise has conquered. The sweet melody is lost.
So, I conscientiously close my mind to all noise, all fear, all else and surrender once again to my great hope, my love.
“Oh Lord, my rock, my salvation, save me!”
And He silently brushes my face with a stroke of His tender presence. And calm wraps my soul.
The foamy tide is curling in bringing a new touch of holiness, a shift deeper into the heart. Thank you God for loving me.